Blogging as perspective

Posted: January 23, 2009 in Nanowrimo

One thing restarting the blog has done – unexpectedly – it has given me a sense of perspective. Depression/ SAD/ mood disorders are like having your own personal gang of Red Guards to bully you into self-denunciation. They’re fanatical, unhinged – they make you write in mile-high letters with an eyeliner brush: I’m useless, I’m a waste of space, I’ve never achieved anything. It’s nonsense – poisonous, demoralising nonsense – but the Guards are blocking your view, so you can’t see your achievements.

It was a shock when I opened this blog and viewed the last entries. I was about to embark on NaNoWriMo – write a 50k-word novel in a month. I was doubting my ability then too.

Well, just so as you – and more importantly I – know, I did it. I wrote 50k words. I finished Montjoyesse (working title), the sequel to Mayhem and Magique, something I’d had on the go for years unfinished. I also decided to make a proper effort with M&M getting it out to readers for crit.

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